Ben, please sleep. Naps. Nighttime. Either. Both.
Luke, please get better and stop coughing up a lung and smearing your snot on all of Ben's stuff.
Bethany, please take a chill pill and turn your short fuse into a very long one.
So I guess you get the drift of what is happening around here lately. I am tired. Very tired. We have had a very busy schedule lately (which I have loved), but without a lot of resting and sleeping. So now I am irritable and impatient. Which I really hate to be and try really hard not to be. I had been handling the no sleep thing pretty well if I do say so myself, but the past 4 days have done me in. We did too much. I slept too little.
Ben is waking up 3 to 4 times a night still and it is taking its toll. I keep thinking that this night, it is going to be different. But it isn't. So I do the same thing as I usually do...go in, nurse, put back down, etc. I know I am partly to blame. I should let him start crying it out. But it is hard for me. Especially when it will wake up the 2 year old down the hall. It is hard when you hear your friend's 2 month old is already sleeping 10 hours. I think it is amazing for her, but I just constantly ask myself, what am I doing wrong? It means failure in my eyes. And I am failing pretty darn well right now.
We had a good run of the boys not being sick for a while. But it has ended unfortunately. Luke woke up with a cold today. He is starting to cough pretty bad. He is pretty whiny which means he really feels puny. Looks like no Mothers Day Out tomorrow. I hope he gets better and that he doesn't give it to Ben. It still scares the bejeezus out of me to think of Ben getting sick. It equals hospital/ICU in my mind which I know is not the case. This is when I need that chill pill to kick in.
For the first time ever, Ben has been fussy today. Real fussy. Since he started rolling, he isn't very content on just laying around that he had perfected over the past 4 months. Or maybe he is tired because he doesn't nap for more than 30 minutes at a time. Or maybe he could be starting to teethe. Who knows? But I do know that I would love my smiley, chill baby back in my zombie like state.
So although we had a pretty darn good weekend with lots of friends and family outtings, I am a bit down tonight. I would do anything for a hotel room with clean, cool sheets on a king size bed and room service for 24 hours.
I need to recharge so I can back to being a good mom to these guys...
4 comments:
It doesn't sound like a failure, but it also seems like you know what to do - you said it yourself - cry it out. Maybe try the Ferber graduated CIO technique? It may be better doing it if the other little guy is already not feeling well since they tend to nap more during the day during sickness (or just have more low-key activities like tv or movies, or lots of story time planned for the first couple days of CIO if Ben wakes up Luke). Good luck mama, you will figure it out and it will eventually get better!
In any good battle, they always call for reinforcements!
My boys were not sleepers, either. I really did hire a babysitter just to sleep. :) You are a great mom! Just take care of you!
I feel for you. I hope it gets better soon. I agree with Leah that you need reinforcements, if possible, that can take the boys just for one night and the next morning and you check into Zaza and just sleep and get pampered. Then you will be recharged for maybe another week or two and then if needed do it again. Your sanity and taking care of yourself is so important to the boys. This is the toughest time, so take care of yourself. Big hugs.
It will get better! What about letting him cry when he only naps for 30 minutes? If he was recently fed, I think it would be fine to let him cry to see if he falls back asleep on his own. It's much easier on the mom to CIO during the day than in the middle of the night. If he learns to self-soothe for naps, he'll be able to do it during the middle of the night. Are you putting him down awake or asleep?
Post a Comment