{Potty Training Limbo}

Up until about a couple of weeks ago Luke wasn't really showing any signs that he was ready to potty train.  I wasn't in a hurry because I heard that it is easier when they are three (end of February) and with the holidays coming up, I wasn't really wanting to deal with a toddler needing to go every ten minutes when we were out and about, especially with a baby in tow.  So easy decision! 

But recently Luke started showing signs.  He started telling me when he went #2 because he wanted to be changed -- sometimes even before he went.  He was talking about the potty and watching his friends go.  Then he wanted to run around naked (yelling "Naked Man!!" -- have no idea where this came from) and started using the potty this weekend almost on his own.  It hasn't been 100%, but he seemed to be self potty training.  And yes, I turned into one of those moms that take pictures of his deposits and text/email  it to Chat and my family.  Who have I become?!?!?!

But there are a few issues now:
1.  He only uses the potty this when he is naked or half naked (wearing only a shirt).
2.  He has accidents when I have tried underwear (granted only tried once for an hour).
3.  Now that we have been doing this when we are at home a week, he seems to be regressing a bit and not wanting to use the potty, so he holds it for hours.
4.  Instead of being very relaxed like I was the first few days, I am starting to get very anxious and impatient with him now.

So now I am at a crossroads.  Do I just can the whole thing and force diapers even when we are home and try in January after the holidays?  Or do I bite the bullet and go all in even though I am not really sure if we are there yet?  Or is there an 'in-between' like I am doing right now without going crazy?  I like this whole no pressure way this was happening, but now I just feel like we are in limbo.  Decisions!  To be continued...

In other news, here are some recent pics!

{One tired boy from pumpkin fun after neighborhood Halloween party in the park!}

 

{Helping me give Ben a bath using waaaaaay too much water...sorry Ben}

 

{Brother hug}

{Walking Man}

I am so proud of my big man!  Ben has been walking a little over a week now and quite proud of himself.  He is still using crawling as his main form of transportation, but I have a feeling that is only going to last another week or so....

 

With him starting to walk, I am realizing he isn't going to be a baby for very much longer.  I am still in shock that he will be one is just about six weeks!  Planning for his very exciting birthday party is already underway -- where a certain jolly old man will be the main attraction, so he needs to get his list together soon because someone will be checking it...maybe twice!  Ben will either love the big, red, bearded man or be terrified of him. I can't wait to find out!
 

{Right Now...}

Right now...

-  I hear my kiddos splashing in the bath giggling like crazy with their dad
-  I am stuffed with mexican food and, to be honest, a bit tipsy from my margarita at dinner
-  I am exhausted from our day out: butterfly exhibit, train ride, lunch out, trick or treating at nursing home, mother's club Halloween party and then dinner out
-  I am a bit overwhelmed
-  I am praying that my kids go down before 9:00 pm (they both seem to be night owls like their mom)
-  I can't wait for the boys to go down so I can watch two episodes of Modern Family that are recorded
-  I am listening to a toy play over and over in my diaper bag (apparently something is holding down the button) and I am too tired to go turn it off
-  I am so proud of Luke peeing in the big boy potty for the first time last night
-  I should be finishing Ben's Halloween costume
-  I hear Chat saying "Luke stop!" over and over again because he keeps splashing too much and making tidal waves in the bathtub
-  I am feeling my chest throbbing because Ben decided to start biting me this week while nursing
-  I just heard the word "Mama" and know that this post is over

{Luke dumping water over Ben in the bathtub}

{Five Days}

The past five days have been a doozy. The cause?  PREDNISONE.

The miracle, but evil drug that has been helping Ben cough and wheeze less and mend his little lungs.

Unfortunately, it is also the drug that changed my sweet baby boy into an upset, crying, whining mess that didn't sleep for days. I felt so sorry for him. I felt so sorry for the rest of us. It was really rough and I felt myself losing my patience with Ben over and over again.  And the poor boy couldn't even help it.  He was miserable.  And proceeded to make us all miserable with him.   

It was a five day dose and yesterday was our last day. He seems to be getting back to his normal self today as the hours go by, but I think he still needs a bit more time. Man, I had no idea that medication can make someone change so quickly.  I hope we never have to go on it again.  I really can't even explain how much it changed him...and so quickly.

I feel worn out, but hopeful that this week is going to be a healthy one. So far, so good. The boys and I spent some time outside today and I think Ben is starting to feel like himself...

{Big brother Luke sure tried to make Ben laugh}

Both boys are currently napping so I am getting a whole 45 minutes to myself.  Woohoo!  I am doing a little blogging and then need to work a bit.  Oh yeah, did I mention that I am working a few hours a week from home?  All for another post :).  Here's to no more steroids!

{Pacifier Free}

We are officially a pacifier-free household!

Lets start back when Luke started taking a pacifier when he was five months old.  It was such a gift when he finally started taking it and it helped us and him so much his first year.  It helped with sleep, fussy times, when he was sick.  It was BRILLIANT. 

Sometime between 12 and 18 months we started limiting it to just the crib for naptime and bedtime.   We had planned to take it away at two years old, but then decided to wait a little bit.  We had just had Ben and there were lots of other changes (he was staying at my parents house for two weeks due to Ben's ICU stay, etc), so we didn't want to make bedtime harder and turn Luke's world upside down even more.  Then this summer as he approached 2 1/2 years old, I took the pacifier away at naptime.  Luke could only use it at bedtime and he only got one. So if it fell out of the bed at night, that was it.  He didn't get a replacement :). 

With all these changes, Luke handled it very well and it never created any problems.  He pretty much rolled with it.  The last change, where he only got it at nighttime, seemed to be the only hiccup.  When he got in his crib for naptime, he would ask for it and whimper a little bit.  When I said no, he got over it rather quickly and would fall asleep.  

But as the months rolled by, I knew...it was time.  We waited way later than I thought we would and I knew he did not need it anymore.  I was starting to think about it constantly and I was so worried about how it would be when we did it.  I had heard really bad stories of how kids really struggled when they had to give it up, so I was fearing the worst. 

Truth be told...I think I was more dependent on it than Luke was.  And the truth came out.  I was.  He was not.

When he demanded to be moved to his big boy bed in September, we gave him his pacifier the first night since I was so worried about this change and him sleeping well in his new environment.  But the next night, I just didn't say anything and waited for him to ask for it.  He never did.  And he hasn't once since that night.  So we are pacifier-free!

It was the easiest transition ever -- along with the big boy bed!  Now onto potty training.  I think I might just wait for him to do that himself as well :).

{Paci stash in Luke's sock drawer that I still haven't thrown out}

{Good News, Bad News}

The good news is I am better!  My fever finally went away and my breast is less and less sore.  Lets hope the mastitis stays away for good!

The bad news is sweet Ben is not his best self right now.  He has had a lingering cough since his croup episode almost a month ago. I kept thinking it was getting better, but then it would never quite go away.  Then in the last few days it seemed to get worse.  After an evening of crazy crying and general misery, I decided it was time to take him in to see the pediatrician the next day.

  {Ben on Wednesday night...poor guy}

We went in first thing yesterday morning and got him checked out.  Our pediatrician is absolutely wonderful.  I feel like when we talk, I am sitting with my mother and best friend all at once.  We talked a long time about his symptoms, how long he has had them and the sudden worsening of them.  She listened to his chest and commented on all the wheezing she heard.  It turns out that we might be hearing a lot more wheezing in the months/years ahead.  Due to Ben's lungs and his genetic makeup, he might react this way when he gets sick and have trouble getting over the illness and wheeze/cough for a lot longer without some help from medicine.  This is probably why he reacted so bad to RSV back in January and ended up in the ICU for two weeks.  Anyhoo, he walked away with an oral steroid, an inhalant steroid and another inhalant as well.  I walked away with a lot of mommy guilt that I did not take him in sooner.  Hindsight is always 20/20. 

We now have an inhaler that our pediatrician calls "the rescue inhaler", meaning if he gets in distress we use it to avoid the hospital.  We are having to use the other steroid inhaler for the next month and then try to wean off of it.  But if he starts to wheeze again, we might just have to use it all winter.

My poor Ben.

She then mentioned if this is how he continues to do over the next few years and doesn't outgrow this, it may turn into asthma.  Which honestly just makes me sad.  No one in our family has asthma, so this is a little unfamiliar.  I know it is not a big deal compared to what we could be dealing with, but I am sad to know this might be in the future.  The pediatrician said he might have episodes when he is sick over the next few years that scare us due to lack of breathing and distress, but we can manage it all and if all else fails, go to the hospital to get some additional help.

I am actually glad this happened and we went in so we have a plan now.  So I don't have anymore Friday night freak outs and have to go to the ER because we don't know what we are dealing with.  Today he woke up with fever, so clearly he is getting another little bug.  I am just ready to have our crew back to being healthy! 

Luke has not caught it (yet) and is trying to be a good big brother :).  He helps out by making his little brother laugh a lot.  Now if we could just get him to stop running him over with his wagon...

On another good note, Ben is starting to walk!   He has been walking short distances with my encouragement, but today he decided to take steps all by himself without any prompting.  It is just so darn cute!!

{Mastitis}

Coming to you live from the kitchen floor...seriously.  That is what you do when you are in pain and have a raging fever.  You go where your kids want to go and lay on the floor and have them play all around/over you while you go in and out of consciousness.  In this case?  The kitchen floor.

It started yesterday morning.  I woke up and my right breast was hurting and felt very tender.  It felt like a plugged milk duct so I quickly fed Ben and then pumped even more.  It seemed to feel a bit better so I went about my morning.  But as the minutes ticked on, I started feeling very bad.  I was achy all over and started shaking.  Yup...it was mastitis.  It went from ok to bad to worse pretty quickly and I knew I needed drugs.

I had to go into the doctor since they wouldn't prescribe me an antibiotic until they saw me.  So I did that around noon, got my diagnosis and my prescription and was on my way.  Then I proceeded to feel awful for the next 10 hours.  Holy moly.  I forgot how bad fever makes you feel. 

Luckily Chat was home during the day to help and when he went off to work, my mom and dad came over to help at nighttime.  There were a few times here and there that I was home alone with the boys and that is when I ended up on the kitchen floor with them climbing all over me.  Ben proceeded to bang an Elmo figurine on the dog's food bowl for a good 10 minutes.  Thank goodness he was happy doing that while I was shaking on the floor.  But poor Elmo...

 

 

 

I have now been on antiobiotics for about 20 hours.  I started feeling better last night around 10, but woke up with a raging fever around 2:00 am.  So I am just pumping my body with Motrin and antiobiotics and hoping this mastitis goes away fast.  As long as my fever stays down, I feel okay, so I am diligent about taking medicine.

 

I have said it before, and I am going to say it again, what moms do for their children is amazing.  This is just a little bump in the road and I am happy to handle it if it means nursing Ben, but wow, wasn't expecting this.  Kuddos to any mom who has been through this!

 

{Ben: 10 Months Old}

Another month has passed!  Ben turned 10 months old on Friday.  It seems like his first birthday is just around the corner and his baby days are numbered. 

Ben is still growing like crazy and is still sweet as pie.  He really is my little cuddle-bug and such a smiley boy.  On days where I am losing my patience and struggling with the craziness of motherhood, I just have to look at him and instantly he fixes it all.  That is not to say I still don't have hard days with my two little guys :).

He is working on walking at the moment and I feel he will be there pretty soon.  His favorite thing to do is to crawl after Luke or sit on my hip/lap.  Ben is still huge but I think he is slowing down on the weight gain, but he is very, very tall.  He is babbling lots more and his sleep seems to be headed in the right direction after two weeks of sleep training.  He takes two pretty good naps a day and his longest stretch of awake time is between his last night and bed time.

We still have some fussy days due to those darn teeth (he currently has seven and working on the eighth), but overall Ben is a happy baby.  His happiest time is between bathtime and bedtime.  It is almost like he gets pumped with energy and he just laughs and laughs.  It is my favorite time of day.

Ben is following after Luke and just loves the dogs.  He loves bathtime as well and loves to stand and hold on to the side of the tub or sit and splash.  He and Luke have started to "talk" to each other in the back of the car and it is the sweetest sounds I have ever heard.  He nurses four to five times a day and loves his table food.  He will pretty much eat/try anything I give him and loves his sippy cup of water.  He really only takes a bottle from me now (not really sure the point anymore?!?!?!), so I am super excited to start introducing whole milk from a cup in the next few months and get this boy weaned. 

We are struggling finding him clothes because of his size.  He is so big around his waist, he needs 24 month clothes, but they tend to be bulkier and longer than a crawling baby needs.  So he is put in onesies a lot -- nothing too fancy.  I am hoping when he starts walking and is more upright and starts to slim down, it can open up some more clothing options.

I got his foot measured a few weeks ago and he is a 5 1/2 extra wide.  His foot is huge.  Looks like it is New Balances and Crocs for this boy as well.  Luckily we have all of Luke's old shoes that we can work with.

Ben is starting to really like books.  I am trying really hard to read to him, but I find that goes to the wayside a lot with the busy schedule of two boys.  So that is my big commitment to him this month...to read to him every day, even if it is one book.  

Thats about it for now!  I know 11 months is just right around the corner, so I already need to start jotting down what this month holds.  Love my sweet Benny Boy!

{Rub A Dub Dub}

Rub a dub dub, two boys in a tub!

 

It is crazy around here with these two wee ones.  Their energy is exhausting (it seems to increase as the night goes on), but wonderful all at the same time.  That is if I have the energy to keep up with them!  Bath time has become quite busy trying to bathe them together.  What a workout!

 

Luke looks so innocent (ha ha - not the case!). 

His favorite thing is to pour water on Ben's bottom.  Ha!

Unless he is indulging Trudy in her favorite thing ever...water! 

She is currently drinking water from a shaving cream top. 

Trudy has lots of bathroom breaks after the boys' bathtime since she drinks so much water.

Old Benny boy must be standing at all times in the bath. It drives me batty! 

I am constantly trying to help him not slip.  My arms get a crazy workout.

Doing something naughty I am sure...

 

This one has developed a liking for the duck...

 

 

I decided not to show the picture of how much dirt is in the bathtub once it drains. The joys are raising little goats! They are the essence of dirty, happy, little boys. Just another fun night at the Lenhart household!

 

{Time Away}

Time away is good for us all, isn't it?  That sure was the case this weekend.  I had a wonderful time away with my friends in Austin!  I ate and drank way too much which equals a good time in my book.  Times have sure changed since we were all in school together, however, the friendships have just grown.  No matter how much time has passed, we all pick up where we left off...and that is usually laughing.  I never laugh as much as I do when I am with these girls. 

The boys did pretty well when I was gone.  Ben refused the bottle practically all of Saturday, but still managed to be in good spirits.  He supplemented with lots of table food!  He did wake up by 5:30 am on Sunday and downed a whole bottle.  I guess he finally just got hungry enough. I do think Chat was tired by the end of it and very happy I was home :).

It felt great to get away, but it felt great to come home.  I missed my boys!

{Off}

Well if this isn't the accurate image of a second child.  He is under a table, gnawing on dirty shoes next to an unprotected outlet with power cord waiting to be chewed.  Our sweet Ben. 

 

Ben has been off this week.  He is extremely clingy to me and just down in the dumps.  He is never fussy, and the last few days have been full of fussiness to the extreme.  It is like he knows that I am leaving him this weekend. 

I am saying some prayers for Chat and Ben and hope they figure it out.  I hate that I am leaving my boy in this hard time for him, but this mama has to get outta town for 24 hours.  I hope he knows just how much I love him and that I am doing this for the benefit of both of us.  And that I will be back before he knows it!

On the other hand, I think Luke is going to love having some daddy time!

{Anxiety}

I have had some major anxiety lately.  I am supposed to go out of town this Saturday night with no children.  First let me say WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am going to Austin for just one night for some time away with some great friends.  I CANNOT WAIT!!!

Okay, now onto the anxiety. 

First, I need to make sure I can pump enough milk for Ben for my time away.  This would be very easy since I have plenty of supply, but I have this enzyme problem that doesn't allow me to freeze my milk.  It has to be somewhat fresh -- within about two or three days.  So I have to pump enough on Thursday and Friday to last Ben for my time away.  And just in case you were wondering, Ben still refuses formula.  {I know he would drink it if he got hungry enough, but I worry about the people watching him and what kind of state he would be in for them.}

Second, Ben is still waking up a lot and Luke is now getting out of his bed in the middle of the night.  It isn't out of defiance because we put him right back in and it is no problem, rather I think Luke just wakes up and doesn't know what to do so he gets out and looks for us.  Anyhoo, it is making for some loooooong nights and some major anxiety for me to leave when the boys are so challenging at night.  I know Chat can handle it, but it is hard for me to leave when I have been doing this night after night for almost 10 months.

This boy and I have a real bond...

But this leads me to sleep training.  I started it again two nights ago hoping that Ben can make it through the night or just wake up once which will help Chat handle the night.  It is so hard, but it is sooooo needed right now.  He needs to be getting better night sleeps as well.  We all do.  I just hate sleep training.  Lets hope it sticks this time.

I know I am only going to be gone for 24 hours, but I feel like it is such an ordeal.  However, I do think it is worth it.  I think it is good for all of us to have a little time apart.  Ben needs to know he can rely on his daddy.  I need some girl talk, lots of wine and a night to sleep where I know I won't be woken in a couple of hours.  It has been a long 10 months of that. 

I know these boys will be fine and that I can't be the martyr forever.  It is time to get these boys sleeping or at least me a night away so I can handle a few more weeks/months of sleepless nights. 

If you hear about some mom in Austin going wild, it will probably be me.  Oh who am I kidding?  If you hear about some mom who falls asleep in her dinner plate that night, THAT will be me :).