{Namesake}

I realized that I never shared the meaning behind Ben's name -- Benjamin David.  The name Benjamin wasn't even really in the running for several months when I was pregnant with him.  I thought about it and liked it, but it never really stuck as his name when thinking about his arrival.  We originally were trying to find a name to go with John, which is Chat's first name.  Luke got Chat's middle name (Luke Chatland) so we thought it might be nice to use John this time.  So I kept thinking John Benjamin and it just didn't seem right.  Then on October 7th of last year, I thought of Benjamin David and talked it over with Chat and then I sent this email to my sister (I still have the email!) which said:

"What do you think of Benjamin David after dad?"

My sister loved it and responded that she just got chills.  After that, I just knew.  Our second son would be named Benjamin David after my father.  I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it earlier.  So we finalized the name, but decided we would make it a surprise and swore my sister to secrecy. 

Then December 12th came along and I was induced early due to preeclampsia.  We had less than 24 hours notice, so we scrambled to get Luke taken care of and our plans in order.  My parents took Luke for the night and we told them we would call them once Ben arrived and then they could come up once someone could stay with Luke.  Ben had no problem coming quickly.  We checked in a little after 7:00 am at Texas Women's Hospital and got set up.  It wasn't till almost 9:00 or 9:30 am that they gave me pitocin. I had two nurses because one was in training, so things were taking a bit longer because there was lots of explaining, etc.  But once I got the pitocin, things moved pretty quickly.  I managed for about two hours with pretty painful contractions so around 11:00 am I asked for an epidural.  Sometime within the hour my friend Robin came to visit and brought Chat lunch and chatted with me to help pass the time.  Around 12:30 things were getting pretty painful again...very painful.  They suspected I was complete and ready to push and they were right.  They called the doctor and she was in surgery.  They turned everything off and we waited.  Well, Ben waited for a while but he was ready.  So they called a back-up doctor to be there just in case.  Luckily, my doctor (well actually she was my sister's doctor because my OB was on maternity leave -- she had her baby the very next day at the same hospital) made it just in time.  I pushed for 12 minutes and our little Ben was born.  It was an amazing moment.

I didn't realize it but my mom had come up and was waiting outside the room during my delivery.  She came in and met Ben and said she would be back with my dad later that day.  I didn't realize how much I needed one of my parents there when Ben was born to share that moment.  I was so concerend about Luke, I didn't realize that I needed my mom there to help me welcome Ben.  I was so happy to have my mother at that moment.   

My dad came back later that night.  He was huddled around my bed with Ben in my arms.  I finally asked my dad, "Do you want to know his name?".  Of course he said he did. "His name is Benjamin David.  After you Dad".  My dad didn't say much after that.  He had a look of surprise on his face and then I saw his eyes well up with tears.  I could almost see the lump in his throat.  It is a moment I will never forget. 

Later that night, my dad called me up at the hospital.  They were having a high old time with Luke at their house but he was calling to check in.  He then said, "Sweetie, I know I didn't say much when you told me Ben's name earlier."  Then I heard the lump in his throat.  He started choking up and had trouble getting the words out.  I am not sure exactly what he said because at that point I was overwhelmed with emotion too.  But he said how much it meant to him and it was hard to say it earlier that day.  It was one of the most touching conversations I have had with my dad.

I know I will never forget those moments.  They are some of the most precious I have had in my 31 years.  I won't forget my dad's face and the tears of happiness in his eyes when I told him as he hovered over my son in that hospital room.  But just in case, I wanted to write it down somewhere so I won't forget.  And so one day, I can tell Ben who he is named after and how I told his grandfather the news.

You see there aren't many men like my dad.  I know no one is perfect, but he is pretty darn close. He is there for me, my sister and my mom through anything.  And now my boys.  He would do and does anything for us.  He gives us unconditional love and it shows every day.   

I think my dad and Ben have a special bond.  When Ben went into the ICU at Texas Children's when he was 7 weeks old, my dad came almost every day.  He was Ben's champion and did everything he could do to help.  Even when Ben was off the ventilator and I was trying to get him to nurse again, I would go behind the curtain and my dad would station himself at the monitors and manage his breath count.  I couldn't let him go above a certain number while he was trying to nurse or I would have to stop because it was too dangerous.  Since my dad certainly couldn't help nurse, he found himself a job to help.  Everytime it would get close to a particularly dangerous number, he made sure I knew about it.  It is funny that through all that craziness and hardship of those two weeks, that is one of the most clear memories I have.  I just see those two black dress shoes under the curtain while I sat and nursed my sick son. 

Ben has a lot to live up to with his grandfather's name, but I have a feeling he has the best person to look up to in order to do it.  I love both of my Davids with all my heart.