{Playing Catch Up}

Since I am finally feeling better, I am so happy but I feel like I am constantly in catch-up mode. To say I am feeling overwhelmed with life is an understatement. While I was feeling so awful, I feel like life got very busy and chaotic and a lot was left undone -- parenting-wise, wife-wise and house-wise. So now I am busy trying to get on top of everything and I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. I probably have four days worth of laundry and for the life of me cannot get on top of it. The house is in disarray but I just can't get it together. I try to cook now on the days Chat is home, but even that feels impossible. I feel guilty about the time the boys had in front of the TV and for shooing them away to play by themselves when they wanted me to play with them while I was feeling so bad. I feel like I need to make up for that time and do all these great things and be a 'present' parent. But I am still not 100% and am feeling like I can't accomplish it all. So I crash and the guiltiness continues.

They think I am awesome (which I know is only going to last for a limited time!) and it is so sad when I feel like I disappoint them. But somehow they manage to keep loving me unconditionally.

So right now I have three loaves of pumpkin bread in the oven in my attempt to get these holidays in gear. I did one load of laundry. The boys have been home from school for about an hour and a half a I have not turned on the TV. I might even empty the dishwasher after this. Baby steps.

I am so thankful for this amazing thing happening in my life. I just need a little organization to keep my sanity. And I just need a bit more energy. And some patience. Seriously if I could just get on top of the laundry...