{A Post I Didn't See Coming}

I honestly didn't think I would be posting this post. The post that I am pregnant. Yes, you ready that correctly! A once infertile has conceived with very minimal help. For many of you who know me, you know that I have PCOS and it took us almost a year to conceive Luke. It was a long, emotional year that still stings when thinking about it. We thought we would have to work hard again...fight for another pregnancy. Well, things worked about a bit differently this time...

Rewind 7 weeks. I actually went to the doctor in early April to discuss options and when to start medication to start planning for a second child. I explained that we wanted to start later this summer and that I wanted to be prepared and have all my prescriptions ready to go. We were thinking we could start trying in July or August and hopefully be pregant by the end of the fall. The nurse practioner was so understanding and we made a plan that I felt great about. And just for kicks, she decided to test to see if I ovulated that month. I thought that was a great idea since I hadn't ovulated since Luke was born, but recently I had been on Metformin to control some PCOS symptoms and I actually had two cycles. I didn't think I had ovulated, but I wasn't really sure. Needless to say, she called the next week and told me the good news...from the looks of my progesterone level, I did ovulate. I was elated! Would I not have to go through the hoops this time?

Fast forward to the next day. I was meeting my sister for lunch and had about 10 minutes before I had to leave. Just for kicks because I had 10 minutes to kill, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I seriously thought there was ZERO chance. Three minutes later, I see the plus sign. I was pregnant! I actually was already pregnant when I went to that appointment a few weeks prior. It seemed a bit unreal. I am 10 weeks along and my due date is December 25th. Yup, we are going to have ourselves a little Christmas blessing!

So now for a few truths.

My first initial feeling when finding out I was pregnant was guilt. I felt so guilty that this was coming earlier than expected and that Luke was going to have to share his mom and dad at a much earlier age than we thought. I know it is silly to think, but I would just look at him and cry (hormonal?) and want to say "sorry" over and over again. And then I realized that we are giving Luke the greatest gift...a sibling.

Second truth.

I am currently having major anxiety. I have had the fears of "can I do this with another child that is still so young?" and "what if this one doesn't sleep for the first 10 1/2 months like Luke?" and "will I be able to give both children what they need?". There are many more questions running through my mind on a given day, but I have decided to take it one day at a time and enjoy this process. I am sure some days are going to be hard, but the good ones are going to make up for it.

Final truth.

I am happy beyond belief.